...on my own, and loving it!

I have finally crossed over into the realm of adulthood: I have moved into my own apartment! After I graduated from high school I lived with my grandparents for a few months while I went to Weber State… I didn’t like it, so I went back home to work for a while. Then I went to Utah State and lived on campus with a couple roommates for a semester, until I decided to serve a mission… where, once again, I was not alone. Upon returning from my mission, I went right back to Grandma’s to finish up at Weber State, where I’ve been for the past three years. Even after I graduated, I lived with my boyfriend’s parents for a month while I found a place to live.

Finally, I have a place that is just mine! I have enjoyed the freedom of making the food that I want to eat, watching the movie or television show that I want to watch, or read a book without feeling the need to entertain someone else. I only have myself to answer to, and that in itself has been a nice change. (My Grandma, bless her, is the biggest worrier I’ve ever met. I had to call her every night to let her know when I’d be home or she’d stay up debating whether or not to call the police.) And as silly as it sounds, I like being able to organize my rooms exactly the way I want them. 

In all likelihood, I will be spending very little time in my apartment in the near future, since rehearsals for Hello Dolly! begin tonight. I decided not to be an actor in the musical because of all of the other things that I have to do: I’m the music director, the understudy for Dolly (just in case), will more likely than not be making some costumes, and I have my own show to prepare (The Importance of Being Earnest). I was offered a role as a dancer in the ensemble, but I declined as graciously as possible. It’s not that I’m a diva and will only accept leads, because I really enjoy being in the ensemble… I just knew that I had a lot of other things on my plate. I don’t want to be overwhelmed… again. Anyway, the point of this little story is that I’ll be out most nights doing rehearsals, so any time spent in my apartment will be sleeping, eating, and showering (not at the same time). I’m hoping that I get a couple nights a week to myself so that I can finish Remington Steel.

Just to make sure that you don’t think I’m some sort of hermit, I want to assure you that I am still a very social person. Over the past few weeks I’ve definitely spend more evenings out with friends than spending a quiet evening at home. Those are definitely rare… but I truly believe that I need some “me time” at least once a week to retain my sanity. I love having the time to look at my life, where I’m headed, where I want to be heading, and evaluating the choices I’ve been making. I need to do this now more than ever, because my life has completely changed. I’ve become such a professional at being a student, and now that part of my life is over. I have lots of different choices to make now.

The moral of the story is that I love my new place!

Giving it 100%

As stated in the previous blog, I was raised in a house that was filled with music and theatre. During my years at home, my parents were often away in the evenings at some community theatre or other, devoting their nights and weekends to a musical. They never once thought to themselves, “Maybe I just won’t go to rehearsal tonight.” My parents taught me that when you make a commitment like that, you don’t just back out because you don’t feel like going.

This principle has become part of who I am, and not just in theatrical aspects of my life. When I have made a commitment of any kind, my determination to complete the task goes far beyond feelings of obligation. There is no question in my mind… it has to be done. For example, when I decided to work toward a Bachelor of Arts I knew that I wouldn’t quit until it was done. Yes, there were plenty of mornings that I wanted more than anything to sleep instead of going to my 8 am ballet class; but I went. I finished. I graduated. Never once did I entertain the idea of dropping out of college and leaving my goal unattained. This is just one example of many… and I want to thank my wonderful parents for instilling such an invaluable principle in me. As much as this has helped me in the past, my determination to finish what I start will assist me in all of my future endeavors, such as marriage, motherhood, and community involvement.

The reason that I’m bringing this up is to help others understand why theatre seems to take precedence over other aspects of my life. This is, of course, not an accurate statement. There are many other things that are higher on my priorities list than being in a show… I don’t have to be involved in a production to survive (it certainly helps maintain my sanity, but isn’t essential). Once I have agreed to participate in a theatrical production (through acting, directing, costuming, or any other way) I am extremely determined to see it through to the end. Dropping out, not showing up, or doing the task at anything less than 100% is out of the question. My principles won’t allow me to even consider it.

Others have said that they don’t really understand how I feel, but I can honestly say that have a difficult time understanding how people can be so lukewarm about a commitment that was made. I don’t connect with someone that is involved in a show and decides to drop out halfway through the rehearsal process, or choses to go to some other event on a night that we have a show scheduled to perform. When I question such a person about their decision they usually say something like, “I didn’t think I was that important to the cast,” “someone can cover for me,” “I’m not missing anything,” or “I’d rather be at (fill in the blank) than here.” This makes no sense to my brain. Even the smallest cast member is essential to the performance running smoothly! People often don’t see their role as important, but I can say from experience that when a person isn’t there that you’re used to acting with… it really throws you for a loop, and it’s sometimes difficult to recover.

I guess what I’m saying it, if you commit to something in life (ANYTHING at all) give it everything that you’ve got. If it’s something that you’re not willing to put 100% into, then don’t agree to it. Others will be relying on your to do your part. Don’t let them down.

Remember the Magic

I've been meaning to post about my most recent theatrical experience for over a week now... but I still feel like I'd be poking at a fresh wound. I know, I know... "It's just a play," you might respond, "why would it ending effect you so much?" Well, to me theatre is more than just fun. To me, theatre is as much a part of my life as eating. I can go for a while without it, but eventually I need another fix to function normally.

I have been in several shows over the course of my 25 years of life. My parents were (and still are) very much involved in the theatre. I was raised listening to show tunes on Saturdays (that was cleaning day), watching my parents perform from the audience, and being on stage with them. I continued to enjoy performing in high school, although I concentrated on my choir activities more than the drama club. I performed in community show until my mission... where I started going through "withdrawals" because I couldn't be in a show while I was serving the Lord for 18 months. Really, that's not a horribly long time to go without theatre... but it was then that I realized that I don't want to live without theatre in my life... and I decided to go to Weber State University to study Musical Theatre.

I thought I had a great love for performing before Weber State... but now, I find that I am obsessed with it! The more I learned, the more I loved. And the more I loved, the more I grew. I am by no means the best actor, singer, or dancer... but I have been given (or better yet, earned) something that is most precious to me: education. I hunger for it. I want to know everything that I can about the things that I love, and I want to continue that learning for the rest of my life.

That brings me to Remember the Magic: A Musical Tribute to Disney. Two of my favorite things in one place: performing, and Disney! Lets face it... who doesn't love Disney? In this production I got to change from character to character with each new number, and I had to really pull out my inner child to channel into the magic that Disney brings to peoples lives. When I open up like that, I become vulnerable... and when I am in such an open state, the friendships I make with my fellow actors are stronger than any other. I becomes so entirely attached to the people and the performance itself that when it is ripped from me like this, it really stings.

Remember the Magic is up in the top three of the best shows I've been a part of; and that's saying something, because I've been in a lot of amazing productions! I will never forget the magic that I felt bringing the beauty of Disney to our audiences. I will always hold this experience close to my heart.